The Potter Curse

Today is an extremely busy day, even for this gloomy August. And as a result, the most well-mannered guy in the office burst out his first curse in months. As I reflected on it I decided cursing, while healthy in terms of anger management, could eventually become a negative behavioral habit of mine and it is time I took actions to refrain from it. Hence, here is my solution: replace the normal cursing words with the wizardry curses revealed by dear J. K. Rowling, therefore keep away from dirty words while still taking advantage of the healthy side.

Without the need to look up a Harry Potter dictionary, an easy spell came to my mind to replace the most common swearing word:

Accio Excrement!

However, the fact that my office is located in a high rise building and it is well equipped with flushing toilets makes it prohibitive for this charm to work – just imagine a piece of crap winds its way from maybe a mile away, if the summon works in this range at all, crosses the crowded Park Avenue and makes it into the always long waited elevator – no, this can’t work.

In this case, one may suggest using a transfiguration charm. Well, there is one point I think worth making: careful enough and never cast the magic over the keyboard or mouse, because there is a high probability that your hands are on them!

As for the next popular cursing word starting with an F, things seem to be more difficult… Of all the spells intended towards a person the best shot might be a simple “Stupefy” or “Petrificus Totalus“, except for the unforgivable Imperius curse. Well, the thing is, since there is no female presence in the office, I am sure no one would be interested in performing this at all.



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